A recent phone conversation between Handsome Chef Boyfriend and myself:

Me:  I had this guy on my tail in his pickup truck heading towards Bromley, trying to pass me in the right lane.  Big beard, baseball cap, checked wool jacket, sitting in his huge-ass truck.

HCB:  Why were you driving in the wrong lane?

Me:  No, you don’t understand.  There were two lanes—the driving lane and the right turn only lane, and he was in that one, so I assumed he was turning right, but when his lane ended he was still right there, so I realized he was trying to pass me.

HCB:  You should have been in the other lane.

Me:  <growing frustrated>  No!  You don’t get it!  Let me just clarify—I was in the driving lane, he was in the right turn only lane, and then he tried to pass me instead of turning right.  And then when the road became a two-lane road I moved into the right lane so he could pass me, and he decided to tailgate me.

HCB:  <poor attempt to cover sniggering and giggling>

Me:  ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?

HCB: <speaking through giggles>  No, I know you were right.  I am just imagining an exchange between you and that guy.

You:  “Let me just clarify….” 

Him:  “*$#@! *&^#%^@&$(#@*#!!!”

Mockery.  Yep.  That’s how we roll.

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